


Phoenix Fire

by Angel_made_of_scars



Series: Leading Into A Life [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Autism, Ballet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 13:44:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8163979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_made_of_scars/pseuds/Angel_made_of_scars
Summary: Dean decides Cas should see a ballet. Cas is hesitant, but decides to go anyway. Dean gets to see why Cas doesn't ride in cars.





	

"Cas, how do you feel?"

"Hurts." Cas grumbled. He was standing in the bedroom doorway, crutches in arms, and bedhead crazy. He looked grumpy, making Dean smile even more.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but Meg said you have to walk on it to gain strength."

"Don't like it." Cas said grumpily. Dean smiled and pushed out his chair at the table with his foot.

"Come sit down, I'll make you some oatmeal." Dean said.

"M'k." Cas mumbled, limping over towards the table. He grunted as he sat down, and Dean chuckled.

"Hey, I was thinking, you can't really walk to work, and you've been here for a while. I thought we could go out." Dean said.

"Where?"

"Well, you like ballet right? There's a ballet performance about an hour from here-"

"Hour?!" Cas startled.

"No, no, listen to me, it's ok. It's called Firebird. It's about some prince who finds a phoenix, and then saves some princesses under a monsters sleeping curse, you'd love it." Dean assured him.

"Hour!" He shrieked.

"I know, I know, it would be difficult. But... I thought, we could take your old car." Dean said gently. Cas stopped humming for a moment to question him.

"Mine?"

"Well- it's Gabriels now. I thought we could take that and ride there." Dean said.

"They plan this?" Cas asked.

"Nope, I did. But they would be driving, so I can sit in the back with you." Dean said.

"Back?!" Cas panicked.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's ok. Take a deep breath." Dean said quickly, standing up and going to his side.

"Can I touch."

"No!"

"Ok, alright." Dean said. He'd been hesitant about touch since his injury.

"Think." Cas said finally.

"Ok, we'll think about it, and I'll get you your oatmeal."

* * *

"Dean?" Cas said quietly. One of his hands was covered in pink paint and he was standing in the doorway of the bedroom, leaning on his crutch.

"Did you spill some paint?"

"No, I... Would like to see the ballet." I was painting a ballet dancer." Cas said quietly.

"Ok, we'll work it out. I'm glad you decided, we only have a few more days until the show." Dean said. He put down his book and stood up, going towards Cas.

"Kiss?"

"Cheek." Cas said. Dean pecked him on the cheek like he said and smiled down at him.

"It'll go ok, I know it. Gabriel said you really used to do ok in that car." Dean reminded him. Cas nodded, but he looked unconvinced.

"I hit things."

"What?"

"I used to hit. In the car." Cas admitted.

"Well if it happens, what do I do?" Dean asked.

"Don't know." Cas said. He was starting to get anxious, so Dean dropped the subject.

"Hey, we'll worry about that later. Let me see your painting." Dean suggested. Cas nodded.

"Ok. It's not done."

* * *

"Ready?" Dean asked.

"I don't like it!" Cas yelled.

"I know sweetheart, but we have to look nice. Let me see." Dean said. Cas grumpily limped out of the bathroom, in his full suit, blue tie hanging from his neck.

"Would it make you feel better to wear your coat? Your big coat? It is a little chilly tonight." Dean said, looking away. Cas looked _hot _ ___ ___.

"Everything doesn't stretch!" Cas said desperately, trying to stretch his muscles to prove it.

"Alright, hey, show off, it'll be ok. Three hours. Just remember, three hours." Dean said.

"One to get there, one to see it, one to get home." Cas said to himself.

"That's right. Now how do I look?" Dean asked, finishing with his tie. He stepped back so Cas could see, and Cas had a similar reaction to Dean. His cheeks went red, and he swallowed.

"You look very nice Dean. Very nice. Your eyes stand out and- your freckles stand out." Cas said, still looking him up and down.

"Alright, come on, grab your crutches, let's get downstairs." Dean said. Cas nodded and picked them up off the couch, then moved towards the bedroom. He grabbed his big coat, and threw it on, and came back to where Dean was standing at the door.

"I-I'm not sure!" Cas said quickly.

"About what?"

"Car!"

"It'll be worth it. Just remember that. Three hours." Dean said. Cas nodded but didn't get any less anxious as they left the apartment.

As they stepped in the elevator, Cas started to breathe heavily, and Dean turned and stood in front of him.

"Cas, breathe with me. In and out." Dean said. Cas tried his best to copy his breaths, until they hit the garage floor, where Cas' breathing went erratic.

"Come on, step on out." Dean said.

"No!" Cas yelled.

"Nice to see you too." Michael called from the car. The old junker was in front of them, garage lighting highlighting the dents and rust.

"Cas, you wanted to, remember?"

"Car!"

"I know it's a car, but you use to be real good in this car." Dean said calmly. There was a dinging, and Dean stepped in front of the elevator doors.

"Come on, you gotta get out." Dean said. Cas finally stepped forward, letting the elevator go and taking a deep breath. Without prompting, Cas stepped forward and got into the car.

"Alright Cas! Hey, great job! We'll be there in no time-"

"Hour."

"Y-Yeah, but it'll go fast. You'll enjoy this, I promise." Dean said, grabbing his crutches. He opened the trunk and put them in, then slid in beside Cas.

* * *

It was around the end of the ride that Cas ramped up. He had done good so far, but now began to hum and flap his hands, and Gabriel slowed down.

"Cas, we're almost there, don't do this." Gabriel said.

"Do what? He's ok, he's just getting a little excited-"

Dean was cut off by the loud bang. It would have sounded like they hit something if Dean hadn't seen exactly where it came from. Cas hit the car door. He went for it again, connecting with a loud crack, and Gabriel gunned it.

"What are you doing?!" Dean asked.

"He needs to get out of the car now or its only going to get worse." Michael said.

"Worse how- Cas, let me hold your hands." Dean said. Cas hummed louder and slammed his hand against the door again.

"Cas, you have to stop." Gabriel said.

"Cas, can I just touch-"

This time Cas went for his own lap, pounding on his knees multiple times. Dean reached out and put his hand on Cas' kneecap, and Cas stopped to grumpily look at him.

"I know you won't hurt me- ow! Shit!" Dean yelled, as Cas started hitting again, harder now. He switched back from his legs to the door, and Michael turned in his seat.

"Castiel, look at me!" Michael said loudly. Cas' head snapped up.

"We're about five minutes away at this speed. You need to calm down. Take a deep breath with me." Michael said, trying to smile at him.

"Don't call me that." Cas grit out.

"I'm sorry, I needed your attention-"

"Don't call me that!" Cas screamed, taking a swing at Michaels face. Dean grabbed his arm, but Michael already grabbed his extended fist.

"Don't do this." Michael said, too calm for Deans liking.

"What has gotten into you Cas?!" Dean said, horrified.

"He used to get very anxious in cars, but it manifested as anger if he couldn't get out. He even opened the door once to try to jump out, which is why we have child locks on your doors." Gabriel explained. Dean blinked in surprise and reached over, testing the door. It wouldn't budge.

"Just about five minutes now, come on Cas. Sweetheart, look at me. Cas." Dean called. Cas turned but his eyes weren't right. They were angry and cold, and Cas yanked his fist away from Michael to connect it with his knee again, all while staring at Dean.

"This isn't right, he's not right, we need to go back." Dean said.

"We're already here, and it's an hour to get home anyway. We might as well see this play." Gabriel said dejectedly.

"I had hoped this wouldn't happen, but I agree with Gabriel. There's nothing to do now. I'm sorry, Dean." Michael said.

"No, no I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed him to go. I'm sorry Cas." Dean said quietly. As they pulled over towards the parking garage, Cas blinked. It was long and deliberate. Dean knew he was talking.

"I can fix this, I brought Cas' medicine. He just has to take it. Cas, can you take it on the way home?" Dean asked. Cas thought for a moment, then blinked.

"Ok, so take some deep breaths. Please, don't hurt me again Cas. Breathe." Dean said. He knew it was manipulative to say, but it worked. Cas took a deep breath and blew out, and Dean nodded.

"Just like that, again, come on." Dean urged. He noticed Cas was beginning to tremble.

* * *

By the time they were inside, Cas was crying. Dean held out his arms but Cas stayed on his crutches, not going for the hug.

"It's ok, we're all here, please let me touch." Dean said quietly. Cas still didn't move.

"He just needs a few minutes." Michael said.

"I know you want to help, but he isn't going to get better if we smother him. Just back up a little." Gabriel said. That changed Cas' mind.

"No!"

"No? You want me to get closer?" Dean asked.

"No."

"Ok, I'll stay. Guys, go secure our seats. We'll be in by the time it starts." Dean said. Cas nodded, and Gabriel shrugged, leading Michael away from them, even as he cast a protective glance towards them.

"Are your hands ok?" Dean asked.

"No."

"You know I'm going to have to ask you to take your medicine when we leave. I can't let you start hitting again." Dean said. Cas dipped his head and choked out a sob.

"Sorry!" Cas said timidly. His fists were shaking on his crutches, clutched too tight, and Dean put out a hand. He lightly touched Cas' hand, and Cas stumbled back.

"No!"

"I'm sorry! It's... It's the only way I know how to help. What do I do Cas? How can I help?" Dean asked.

"Can't." Cas said simply. He took a big breath and stood up straighter, then started towards the doors that lead into the theater.

"Cas, are you sure you're ready?" Dean asked.

"No." Cas said, not stopping as he entered the room.

* * *

"So, was it worth it?" Dean asked.

"No. But it was enjoyable." Cas said. He made a noise of pain, and Dean went to help him, but Cas pulled away.

"Hey, there's a water fountain over there. Let's go take that pill, ok?"

Cas looked scared, but followed Dean anyway, limping his way forward. Gabriel and Michael waited by the doorway out as he forced it down, swallowing hard. He flapped his hands, and Dean caught his crutches, then handed them back when he felt alright.

"It'll be ok. I know you're scared of riding back, but you'll sleep through it. That pill works pretty fast." Dean said. Cas nodded and put on a determined stare. He would sleep like a champion.

* * *

"Cas? We're about five minutes out. Time to start waking up." Dean coaxed. Cas sat up off Deans shoulder, looking up at him.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok, you're cute when you sleep." Dean chuckled.

"We're right here." Gabriel piped up, but Dean ignored him.

"Was that a grocery stand?" Cas asked, looking out the window in the darkness.

"Yeah, there's a farmers market type thing going on under some tents over there." Dean said.

"I want to go." Cas said. Dean smiled.

"We can go in a few days if you want." Dean said.

"Yes, thank you." Cas said. He leaned back towards Deans shoulder and hesitated, but Dean held up his arm.

"It's ok." Dean said. Cas thought about it, then leaned in gently.

"Thank you."

"Always sweetheart."

**Author's Note:**

> The ballet is called The Firebird, it's apparently very famous. You should research the story. :)


End file.
